The First Human Who Hurled An Insult Instead Of A Stone Was The Founder Of Civilization.

Girls like shoes more than CLOTHES, Because No Matter How Much They Weigh, it still fits.

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey :)

Don’t feel special, I only keep your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.

Actually no, my status wasn’t aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.

Oh you are dating my ex? Cool, Im eating a sandwich …. want those leftovers too?

Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?

I don’t insult people. I just describe them.

If you liked my profile, Raise up ur hands. If not, raise your standard

If you’re going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.

Hi! I’m a human being! What are you?

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Are your parents siblings?

I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you, you’re just not laughing.